In the lush Đà Lạt hillsides you may find yourself wandering around in the cool, early morning in desperate need of a pick me up. One of the seemingly peculiar solutions to that is to grab a crisp, refreshing cup of weasel coffee. If you're normally in need of caffeine and a bit of a coffee lover coming across this specialty for the first time may seem intriguing. Having lived in Vietnam for nearly a decade, I'd always heard of it but never went out of my way to get some. I let it happen organically.
While I've never shied away from eating parts of animals normally on offer such as chicken necks, goat brains or coagulated blood, I never felt the need to seek out coffee made from beans that had been passed through a weasel's digestive cycle. Maybe it's a hubris thing. As apex predators, surely we aren't relegated to consuming what was once fecal matter of lowly vermin.
Nonetheless I was wandering somewhere down Hoàng Hoa Thám Road in Đà Lạt, it was early, and I hadn't had my coffee yet. So I popped into this farm as it has an alluring view of a good sized crop of plants almost as far as the eye can see. Although not nearly as glamorous as many of the TikTok inspired spots all over the city, the minimal aspects fit my vibe.
The young woman working the shop helped alleviate many of my ignorances upon my arrival. It helped that she was able to communicate well in English after I approached the counter using my below toddler level of Vietnamese. She was quick to point out that while weasel had previously been determined to be vermin it has long since become the masticator of premium coffee due to how acids in their stomachs process raw coffee berries fresh off the vine. She told me the coffee at her farm was exclusively produced using the Moka varietal of Arabica (aka Queen of Arabica). The high quality of the berries in conjunction with weasel stomach acid gives a pure, crisp, clean cup of coffee that cannot be matched in flavor or balance of mouth feel.
And then I saw the prices.
It's 10 million VND to buy 500g of beans at that particular place. If you're anything like me, you're usually leaving Đà Lạt with 500g of beans for between 200-500k VND. I quickly became skeptical asking myself how any coffee could be that good to pay that much.
Then I had a tour of the facility.
I was imagining at that point that the weasels must be living the high life. They literally poop out money. Surely they must have rights and are treated as equals to some extent. But they aren't. Being that weasels are nocturnals I was able to catch the last weasel stirring in its cage just as it was nestling into bed, which didn't seem comfortable at all. The poor things sleep in a sort of cocoon made of PVC piping. I'm guessing the only luxury they're afforded is the type of atmosphere guaranteed to keep light out of their eyes all day so they can sleep in peace.
And eating coffee berries, which they ostensibly enjoy? According to the young woman who showed me around, it only happens three times per year when the berries are harvested.
At that point my mind was racing hoping that these weasels had good lives, that they had chances to frolic in nature, to burrow, to play. In a daze, I regret not confirming whether this is the case.
And I still needed a cup of coffee. Since she had gone through the effort of educating me about the weasel coffee process, I found myself obliged to have a hot cup of coffee. At 200k VND per order, they put on a show giving you a contraption akin to what you may see in a high school chemistry lab. Eager for coffee, I sipped on it regardless of the temperature of the liquid. I found it incredibly light and crisp with not much of an impact on my taste buds. It seems like it would taste better chilled although without ice allowing you to savor the flavor profile while getting your money's worth.
As I sat there overlooking the verdant landscape, my pre-caffeine brain fog withered away toward weasel fed clarity. Regardless of anything else I’d been thinking, the coffee worked its magic. Synapses in my brain fired at their balanced state as my addiction was soothed. I found myself grateful for the experience as a whole. I paid my bill ready to start the day eager for other new experiences on this finite journey. Anytime we get the chance to notch new delicacies on our belt, it’s worth it.
